Monday, November 29, 2010

An Apology

I want to tell all of you who commented on the post below how sorry I am that I caused you to try to justify your style of commenting. I appreciate how kind you all were in doing so. I wish I could say the same for myself. I know where my buttons were pushed and by whom and that person has only visited this blog once and left a comment. So why I decided to make it an issue by presenting it to all of you, I'm still trying to figure out.

I don't usually have "requirements" for comments. I see after re-reading my post and your comments, just how teachy and preachy and bitchy I came across in it. I am sorry and I hope you will forgive me. Not to make excuses but I've observed from outside of myself a lot of irritability and some intollerence toward others. I'm not sure if a depression is creeping in again or if it's a change-of-life issue or a combination of both. I have so much to make me happy and proud and I am so grateful for so many things. It's as if someone else wrote that post. I feel that way sometimes when I catch myself being impatient with others. "Was that me? Did I really say that?"  I know that no one is perfect, especially me and I am not trying to beat myself up here. I just want you to know that I'm aware of it. Maybe it was good, in some ways, that I wrote that post because re-reading something is often more helpful than trying to recall what it was I said in a interpersonal exchange. In the latter, there is always the tendency to say "Well, it takes two people to cause tension". In the case of the post, it took only one:  me. So maybe some self-awareness came out of it and I can forgive myself and move on and try harder the next time to be patient and accepting. The first step in doing so is to acknowledge the situation and hope that you, my cherised online friends, will forgive me for behaving so poorly.

Please tell me what you think and don't expect for a moment that I'm waiting for anyone to let me off the hook on this one!

P.S. I feel like I led some of  you to think that it's the brevity of a comment that I have a hard time with and that's not really it. It's about one person who simply stated they didn't like it. They are entitled to that opinion and yet it bugged me because I had put so much work into the post. I think it is I who is taking things too personally. Again, I am so sorry.

Love and Peace,
Pagan Sphinx

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