Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What's Goin' On: Another Update

Thank you again and again for your good wishes.

Changes at work with a new hire and with that, a bit of adjustment and stress. Just a touch. I'm trying hard not to let it get out of hand. Suffice it to say about work: I'm at times amazed by the things that people will say about each other. Completely subjective, arrogant, bigoted and otherwise insensitive. Ugh.

I'm also fighting hard not to become a total recluse. Blogging is good for me in the sense that I maintain contact with people, albeit not face-to-face, but at least it's a form of socialization and community. Even blogging lately has felt like a chore. I don't know if it's because I've taken on too many blogging "responsibilities", if you will. Or if it has something to do with having been sick. Or even if this lack of motivation is perhaps a life-cycle thing? Does it have to do with peri-menopause? I'm changing, I know that. None of if is freaking me out much so far. In fact, all I long for is a sort of peaceful bliss all the time. But meanwhile, I feel guilty because I'm not accomplishing enough, either in the real world or in blogging.

I face a graduate program stint in the not so distant future and I'm flaked out about it simply because I don't want to be a student. Actually, I'd love to be a student. An art history student, for example. Instead I will be enduring a year's worth of crap, most of which I already know because the state feels I need this credential. And perhaps I do but it would be nice if there was an easier, sort of more home-grown, local way to go about it. Oh and did I mention affordable? Oh, there's such a shortage of special education teachers! Oh, yeah? Then why the hell is there no financial help available to obtain the credential? It's going to cost $10,000 for me to obtain this credential. Another non-incentive.

I need the credential because it will mean a fair salary increase and perhaps even, going to another school where the classroom environment isn't so ambiguous. It's hard to explain without going into great detail, which I don't want to do publicly. Suffice it to say that the communication aspect of my classroom environment is a struggle for me. With the other adults, I mean. The children are the joy of it and the least of my concerns.

To recap: I'm seriously lacking motivation for anything yet I am not depressed. I feel at peace inside, for the most part and finding it remarkably easy to love and care for others. My weaknesses are still a lack of patience with people who convolute things too much. And a lack of patience with those who don't open up to whatever extent is necessary to work together more harmoniously. And I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, too. I interrupt when I need clarification on something, which bugs people sometimes but if I don't clarify, then by the time they're finished, I will have forgotten to ask; this being especially true when I'm dealing with a very long-winded person. Right? I really just want to get the whole story. And I can be very straightforward with people if I need to cut right to the chase, which takes some people aback. I choose my battles but when I have to fight one, I'm pretty assertive. And I can be contrary during this process. It is precisely because of this tendency, that I have learned (the hard way sometimes) to choose my battles.

A little bit more about me that you may not have expected to read. I hope it's okay...

Love and thanks,
Pagan Sphinx

This was the other Frida Khalo that is at the MoMA. It's not a good photo and so better off reduced in size as posted.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

What's Goin' On

A bit of an update...

I'm doing much better. Thank you all so much for your caring and concern. Those five days of being sick took a lot out of me but I went to work yesterday and today and felt a bit tired but otherwise all better. I'm trying to take it easy all week, eat right and get lots of rest before Saturday. I'm going to Boston and staying overnight in the SG2's dorm room. Her roommate will be away for the weekend, so it works well.

I'm looking forward to spending time with my girl. I'm hoping for both good health and good weather. We like to walk and talk when we're together. We have a lot to catch up on.

Tonight I'm going to try to get to a few blogs. I'm behind on my blog reading, the photo memes, email and news. In Friday's NY Times, I read about the 17,000 troops to Afghanistan, which didn't surprise me and yet news like that never ceases to break my heart.

Otherwise, I know that the stockmarket continues to plunge, Gitmo is not going to close down as quickly as we'd hoped and that Republicans are arseholes, but that's not news, is it?

I'm planning to eat Indian leftovers, do a couple of loads of laundry, watch President Obama's address to the Congress and call it a night.

And this is a photo of my amaryllis, which has been blooming deliciously.

photo by the pagan sphinx

Sunday, February 22, 2009

What's Goin' On

I'm still quite sick. Fighting off infections with antibiotics, natural remedies and anything else that may work. And the headache continues, though currently abated with the help of lots of Excedrin.

The headaches are a result of an injury due to a fall about five years ago. The fall caused a whiplash type injury that comes back to haunt me through neck and headache pain. Only to be kept under control by neuro-muscular pain relief administered by The Man with the Magic Hands. But it costs; a lot. He's very willing to cut me some slack on the sliding scale right now but I feel guilty because I am in a better place than most. I do have health insurance for me and the Supergirls but it's costing CR and me a small fortune per month, whereas up until two months ago, the girls' coverage was free through his plan, which he no longer has. Lack of a comprehensive single-payer national health plan is killing this country's people -both financially and literaly. I actually have Sicko on hand from Netflix to watch sometime today. Just what I need to perk up my spirits...

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that we got home safely and that despite my various ailments, I'm actually fine, overall. WP's mother is in intensive care but doing well, so we'll be visiting her today and then I'm going down to see SG1 for a tiny bit to deliver some goodies. She and The Beloved are in the throws of thesis writing and have little time for anything else. The good news is that The Beloved is being heavily courted by UC Santa Barbara, who are paying her flight and accomodations to go visit the university. They really want her, so hopefully that means a good package for her there.

Do you want to see a couple of pictures from New York? I leave you with these.

Judy Chicago's place for Emily Dickinson at The Dinner Party
(more on this exhibit at The Brooklyn Museam, in a future post)

Rodin sculpture, in the foyer of The Brooklyn Museaum

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