Monday, November 29, 2010

An Apology

I want to tell all of you who commented on the post below how sorry I am that I caused you to try to justify your style of commenting. I appreciate how kind you all were in doing so. I wish I could say the same for myself. I know where my buttons were pushed and by whom and that person has only visited this blog once and left a comment. So why I decided to make it an issue by presenting it to all of you, I'm still trying to figure out.

I don't usually have "requirements" for comments. I see after re-reading my post and your comments, just how teachy and preachy and bitchy I came across in it. I am sorry and I hope you will forgive me. Not to make excuses but I've observed from outside of myself a lot of irritability and some intollerence toward others. I'm not sure if a depression is creeping in again or if it's a change-of-life issue or a combination of both. I have so much to make me happy and proud and I am so grateful for so many things. It's as if someone else wrote that post. I feel that way sometimes when I catch myself being impatient with others. "Was that me? Did I really say that?"  I know that no one is perfect, especially me and I am not trying to beat myself up here. I just want you to know that I'm aware of it. Maybe it was good, in some ways, that I wrote that post because re-reading something is often more helpful than trying to recall what it was I said in a interpersonal exchange. In the latter, there is always the tendency to say "Well, it takes two people to cause tension". In the case of the post, it took only one:  me. So maybe some self-awareness came out of it and I can forgive myself and move on and try harder the next time to be patient and accepting. The first step in doing so is to acknowledge the situation and hope that you, my cherised online friends, will forgive me for behaving so poorly.

Please tell me what you think and don't expect for a moment that I'm waiting for anyone to let me off the hook on this one!

P.S. I feel like I led some of  you to think that it's the brevity of a comment that I have a hard time with and that's not really it. It's about one person who simply stated they didn't like it. They are entitled to that opinion and yet it bugged me because I had put so much work into the post. I think it is I who is taking things too personally. Again, I am so sorry.

Love and Peace,
Pagan Sphinx

9 comments:

  1. This was so precious that I just had to comment. I love that you spoke your truth both times and showed your humanity and vulnerableness in each posts. I think you put a lot of work and time into your post and your art and I don't blame you for taking issue to drive-by critical comments. Many times I'm feeling very guilty for the time I'm spending browsing on the computer and don't want to leave a blog without letting that person know I enjoyed it- so I leave it with a quick note. Not because what I saw wasn't well worth the view, but more because the viewer had some computer issues that day!

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  2. I didn't take offense at all so don't worry about it. :)

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  3. just read your post below and I am not in the least offended by it. :) I happen to not like drive-by comments too...but I fear that is the nature of the medium we are using. By the way, I LOVE your term "drive-by comments" and will probably use it myself some day.

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  4. Apology accepted, though I didn't really think you owed us one - your request for specificity wasn't really that off base.

    Glad to hear the knot is out of your thong, and please do carry on!

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  5. Love, Peace & Aloha from Waikiki

    Comfort Spiral

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  6. Oh Dear Pagan friend... I love the Odd Chick's comment when she says words like humanity and vulnerableness. You give us yourself so unselfishly. I applaud that, and respect you. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and accept the consequences. Maybe you do too it seems.
    I also like the Cunning Runt's metaphor of having a knot in your thong. Made me chuckle, let alone the visual!
    And EG knows the truth of all of it, it's part of the medium. I also participate in Memes. Most people put their name up in lights to get comments. They go around to each one and just say "It's nice, here's my URL". I have 43 people who are supposedly "following" my blog. I hear from them the first time they decide to follow. When I don't "follow" theirs, I never see them again. It's all about ratings, just like Rush Limbaugh, but in the blog case, the ratings are construed as comments.
    Sure I want people to come and read what I write and show. We just can't get to every blog every day. So sometimes we "Drive By" and give the inclinationn that we were at least there. I am guilty of that. Truth be told, I'd rather e-mail with an in depth question,answer and converstaion about the post and each other on that particular day.
    It's all good Ms. Sphinx. Thank you for sharing. Now go change that thong.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ah, sweets, no worries, be happy...your post didn't ruffle my feathers at all. In fact, it felt rather pertinent and meaningful as we all can get into a rut of leaving just a few words all over the place that really mean nothing more than "hello" which is fine but sometimes, I, for one, do want, or would "like a little more" if possible, I would say with a smile :)...so this did not seem off base at all ... Please don't worry a bit about it. xoxox

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  8. My gratitude for your friendship and understanding knows no bounds.

    CR: you used to say "your panties in a bunch" but I see you've updated to encompass the newest in underwear fashion. ;-) Thanks, Oh Cunning One!

    EG: you really are right about that! I do it too, even as I try hard to say something beyond "nice pic" on the memes, I still usually only leave a few words if I don't have a lot to say or I don't know the blogger very well. THank you for your comment.

    OddChick: you say you're odd but I think you are endearing. :-) I'm glad that we have "met".

    Joe: you are a great blog friend. I hope we stay connected for a long time to come and perhaps even get together in Nova Scotia with you and your wife and WP and Susan and Numb. Wouldn't be grand? This coming from one who is really very shy. So it's a good thing!

    Linda: I have to hug you one day or my life will not be complete.

    Lib: thanks. I'm glad you've been checking in.
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. We'd love to see you here too. It would be so much fun to have a meal at the Wooden Monkey and a stroll along the shore or perhaps you'd like to see the Dalhousie campus. Point Pleasant Park is very cool and we've hardly begun to explore further out of town. The annual Santa Claus parade marched past our house the night before my birthday and I thought they'd come to celebrate me. Hah!

    Never, never worry about offending people who love you. We don't get offended because, because..

    btw: Are you familiar with Annie Swynnerton? Jams had a picture of hers today and her work is lovely.

    ReplyDelete

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