Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Don Wanna Grow Up

My poor little head is really spinning off its axle now, folks! I just today (in fact, the call woke me up before 9:00 a.m. on my vacation week; which has not exactly been my idea of a vacation; but more on that another time) got the low-down on the graduate certificate program in special education that I'm about to enroll in...tah dah...this summer! I will have July 9 through August 10 off. Cramming two courses into approximately 20 days. Oh, Joy.

I really need to conjure up a positive attitude for this, because as for right this minute I'm dreading it. I'm being a resentful baby. I know I"m way too young to retire (even though there are only about four strands of dark hair on my silver head) and yet at almost 50, I want to. Not because I feel old but because I'm still young! I think you follow my logic.

I just need to get this off my chest in one post before I move forward and sink my teeth into this new experience. Maybe it will be interesting. Maybe it will lead to a more rewarding career. It will definitely lead to more money; which I need to earn more of. Most importantly it will lead to freedom from the current confines of the school that employs me. Perk! There we go, I'm on my way to a more positive attitude!

Meanwhile, this song just about sums up how I feel. Sorry, friends, I'm too old and jaded for the Disney version. ;-)

17 comments:

  1. That does not sound like a fun vacation AT ALL!!! But you have already seen a bright lining to this otherwise dark cloud so carry on...:~)

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  2. There are days, and there are days....

    I know you'll get it together and deal with it, sooner or later. Meantime, you have a right to not wanna grow up.

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  3. I was freaking responsible in the womb! I swear lady, I think I cut my own umbilical cord and it's been caretaking ever since

    and so I get it ;)

    but learning can be fun and a school setting can be envigorating

    take your camera with you everywhere - maybe I'm detaching from reality but I prefer to think I'm seeing things with a new eye, taking photos calms me or refreshes me or ... as bobbie said - there are days and then there are days

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  4. Lib: you're doing it, right? That gives me inspiration.

    This is one of those days, Bobbie.

    Dianne: I can relate. I was a latch-key kid and fended for myself all summer, every summer. I've worked since I was 13 years old, if you count babysitting the little monster across the street! I only didn't work for money when I was home with the two babies for five years. And then, I actually did some part-time work the last two years of that stint. I wanna be done!!!

    But I have to do this. And I can also relate to the picture-taking. It calms me and makes me feel creative, where I have zero talent for any other art. I'd love to get a new and better camera.

    Thanks for getting it. Really.

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  5. Oh, the summer is just the beginning. It runs through two semesters and the summer of 2010, too. I forgot to mention that. And it will cost 10 grand. Ugh.

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  6. Yikes! That's a lot of investment! But I assume you know you;ll get it back - and get a better (more rewarding? more interesting?) job while you do? I wish you well with it - and I hope the material is actually challenging and worthwhile, something you can really sink your intellectual teeth into.

    Loved the Tom Waits song!! Great choice!

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  7. Do it as you feel it, Gina. That's the expression we would use in this case. And to stay young, better keep busy, and open on the world. Ever.

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  8. do what you want, as much as you can. and eat dessert 1st. that's my motto now!

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  9. Hang in there, Gina. It's a big hill to climb, but I remember you doing such things before, and when this is done, you'll be in such a better place.

    And thanks for the Tom Waits, it's always a pleasure to experience his world view! :)

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  10. I get it. And I know you'll carry on with it. But it's just like when I have to go do something I don't want to. First I have to state my unhappiness with the obligation of it. Then I go. Sometimes I even find I like it once I'm there. I won't lie - not always, but sometimes.

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  11. Best wishes for this new adventure. Keep loving yourself as you go.

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. Way to Go Gina! You're very strong and will handle it all with dignity and Grace!!

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  14. Steve: the curriculum is quite dry and I already know a lot of it. That isn't to say that I won't learn something. I'm sure I'll learn a lot. From instructors and other students, mostly, as is my tendency.

    I'm acting spoiled, I know. For one who never was spoiled, even as a kid, it's quite daunting for me to try to figure out why I'm reacting this way.

    Fundamentally I know why. But why fight it? It's something I have to do. And there is a tad of pressure on the family front. They both want me to be happy and more financially set. My career is a long, long and winding road...

    I'm so glad to see you back! Missed you a lot and look forward to visiting your blog to see what you're up to.

    Catherine: as I told you in email, keeping busy and open to the world is what's kept my dear mother going through thick and thin. Thanks for your support.

    Sherry: and doing what I want, when I want is precisely why I've avoided taking this step. I'm enjoying my freedom, finally. Two girls on their way out into the world. A relatively undemanding job (except while I'm there, then I'm ON for six hours straight). Lots of new interests that I want to continue pursuing. Oh, well. Suck it up, I tell myself!

    CR: thanks for the vote, man! And isn't Tom Waits a diamond in the rough? Now there's a man who does what he wants! Perhaps if I discovered some hidden talent...

    ;-)

    Lisa: you've got my number! I thought you and mathman yesterday because of a song I heard on the radio...I think it was a Paul Simon song. Best to everyone at the new digs!

    Paul: left a comment on your blog. Thanks for coming by. Always great to have a reason to go visit there.

    Kelly: aaaaah, Kelly, you're so positive, luv! Glad to see you, too!!! It looks like you're blogging a bit more lately? Will visit soon.

    All the love to you all. I find this always helps me and allows me to get to know you better, too. That's the great piece.

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  15. Go to it and you probably might enjoy it more than you think. As someone who always wished I had gone to university and later, done an open uni course, I envy you. I'm sure the end result will be worth it.

    BT
    (Gina too)!!

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  16. I'm sure you'll do well and probably even enjoy yourself but I can relate to the kicking and screaming part.

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  17. BT and Susan: I think you are right. But meanwhile, I'll engage in some of that kicking and screaming Susan mentioned! :-)

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