Wednesday, July 2, 2008

How Do I Get The Red Out?


At the bird feeder outside my desk window, where I am currently typing on my laptop, a pesky red squirrel keeps coming over to eat the birdseed.

Early this spring there was only a mother red squirrel, with very pink nipples coming to the feeder. Now her offspring have taken over the front feeder and raise hell with the gray squirrels frequently, on a daily basis. And with each other as well! Sibling rivalry on a daily basis is something I thought I was long done with when my girls grew out of it.

More recently there has been only one red squirrel coming to the feeder. I wonder if it succeeded in gaining control of its territory to the exclusion of its sibling.

These cute but very aggressive squirrels scare my birds away and fight off the more gentle gray squirrels by getting in their face and engaging in an aggressive chatter that is the equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard to me. In essence, they're driving me bonkers! I have taken to keeping a pot lid and large spoon on my desk to give them a good clang. (W.P. thinks this is hilarious). To which their response is to hop away, only to come back seconds later. Little shits.

Now I'm usually very accepting of critters in the natural world and were it not for their obnoxious, nasty chatter, I would probably think they were cute. The red squirrels are ruining my little blogging oasis. They're eating all my birdseed and my beloved finches have not been to the feeder for days - because of Them. Come to think of it, the cardinals have been avoiding my desk window feeder as well, preferring the feeder across the road where we enjoy our river view and away from Them.

Is there any humane way to rid my life of these pests? I want my cardinals, finches, chickadees and tufted titmice back. I want the offensive squirrel chatter to stop. I want my oasis purified of these little rodents.

13 comments:

  1. Oh, no! I love the visual of you banging the pot lid!

    I tend to yell at the squirrels, but "beat it squirrel!" is only partly effective.

    You can get a twirling baffle thing that goes around poles, if your feeder sits on a pole....I'm no help. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Fuck off you little creeps" is more like what I say, though it is no more effective, alas. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. That the Reds practically live with me attests to the fact that I spent too much time at my desk, blogging.

    DCup: isn't it sad that Winston Rand passed away? I was really blown away by it. It seemed so sudden. Winston was a good guy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have no clue how to get rid of them, short of a watch dog who'll bark and chase them. But isn't he the cutest thing???

    ReplyDelete
  5. the simplest way- stop feeding them. :) they will move on to the feeder next door or across the street and perhaps then you can lure the birds back. they have squirrel proof feeders but i have no more info than that. i used to have a big fat gray squirrel that would eat off of my back porch at the other house. i haven't bothered here because the birds are feasting on grubs or something in my yard- and there are millions of them all chirping and squawking at 5:00 am and before every morning. i have a family of robins that feed in the yard and a family of bunnies that eat the clover and chase each other in the yard. no lettuce for me this year ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh - the fecking squirrels actually BROKE my feeder.

    ARghhhhhhhh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sorry PS, if Gawd gives you red squirrels, you got fuckin' red squirrels.

    It's the law.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Squirrels made life miserable for me back in NY. Two would sit opposite one another on top of the garbage can and rock it back and forth until it tipped and spilled. They also ate my bulbs.

    They don't like moth balls or flakes, but I'm not sure that's an answer for you. - Frustrating@!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kenju: When there was only one, I thought it was cute. More than one and they've gone down several notches in my estimation.

    I'm thinking of turning the hose on them but I fear for my karma. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. in the tale of squirrel nutkin (beatrix potter) mr. owl gets very irritated with the IMPERTINENCE of the red squirrel and eventually nips part of his tail off. that's why his tail is shorter than other squirrels. always think of that when i see a chittering/chattering red squirrel

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anon: (I wish I knew who you are). Having its tail snipped may be the reason they're so nasty, eh? ;-)

    I love how Beatrix Potter was not overly sentimental about animals. I once read that when she and her brother were kids and they found a dead animal, they would bring it
    home, boil it to get the flesh off and then examine its skeletal structure. I was impressed. Isn't that what all curious children should be doing? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I want anon to come back because he/she likes Beatrix Potter. ;-)

    Impertinent was a word used in my 5th grade report card. Mrs. Crandall did not like me but regardless, I thought her first name was really cool - Wynona.

    impertinent = uppity.

    ReplyDelete

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